 Super Furry Animals | Tee, hee! I have a joke for you, inspired by the ingenious pairing of Super Furry Animals and Caribou as tour mates and by my inimitable funny bone... A welshman walks into an Irish pub in the middle of Winnipeg and says to the Canadian bartender, "Ysbeidiau heulog?" The bartender replies, "Take off, eh! I don't speak Cymraeg!" Pretty funny, huh? I'm thinking about taking my act on the road. Just that one joke, though. Every night, I'll get up in front of an audience that has zipped past their two drink minimum to teeter dangerously close to the precipice of the eighteen drink maximum and tell that joke and that joke only. And it will kill every night. |
I'll become an overnight sensation, a media darling, an "it" person, and maybe, if my website takes off, I'll become that most DiCrescenzo of things, a welebrity. I'll have a movie that will be the perfect amalgamation of Man on the Moon and The Aristocrats. It will win all the Independent Spirit Awards and one Razzie. David Cross will make fun of me and Weird Al Yankovic will lampoon my Baz Luhrman-like novelty hit that features my voice intoning that joke over and over again to the backdrop of an Enya-style beat.
I will ride the wave into a cult comedy series that will start out on Spike but will then transfer to NBC when the ratings go through the roof. The suits at GE know a cash cow when they see one. There will be ass loads of merchandising including a Big Mouth Billy Bass type thing that spouts off my joke every time someone walks by, a foam rubber stress ball, an office foosball table, keychains and emory boards. I will be asked to curate the 2006 U.S. edition of the All Tommorow's Parties festival and I will choose Super Furry Animals and Caribou to play over and over and over again. Sometime during the 3rd performance by Dan Snaith and company, the crowd will overpower the band with their chants, begging me to come on stage and tell my joke. I am humble as I walk on stage to oblige my adoring legions of fans who cheer violently as I approach the mic. An eerie calm fills the air. Just as I am about to open my mouth, an arrow hits me square in my Adam's apple, sending buckets of blood gushing from my throat and covering the stage in a deep scarlet puddle. My last word as I gasp my final breath? "Pwned."
It's not Welsh, get it? It's Geek!:
11.01.05 - Montreal, QC - Club Soda
11.02.05 - Toronto, ON - Phoenix Concert Theatre
11.03.05 - Ottawa, ON - Babylon*
11.04.05 - Alfred, NY - Powell Campus Center *
11.05.05 - New York, NY - Webster Hall
11.06.05 - New York, NY - Webster Hall
11.07.05 - Boston, MA - The Roxy
11.08.05 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
11.09.05 - Philadelphia, PA - Theater of Living Arts
11.10.05 - Norfolk, VA - NorVa
11.11.05 - Carrboro, NC - Cats Cradle
11.12.05 - Atlanta, GA - The Loft
11.14.05 - Baton Rouge, LA - Spanish Moon*
11.15.05 - Houston, TX - The Meridian
11.16.05 - Austin, TX - La Zona Rosa
11.17.05 - Dallas, TX - Gypsy Tea Room
11.18.05 - Tulsa, OK - The Venue$
11.19.05 - Lawrence, KS - The Granada Theatre
11.20.05 - Chicago, IL - Metro
11.20.05 - Chicago, IL - Smart Bar* (DJ Set)
11.21.05 - Minneapolis, MN - Fine Line Music Cafe
11.24.05 - Vancouver, BC - Richards on Richards
11.25.05 - Seattle, WA - Neumos
11.26.05 - Portland, OR - Wonder Ballroom
11.28.05 - San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore Auditorium
11.29.05 - Los Angeles, CA - Avalon Hollywood
11.30.05 - Anaheim, CA - House of Blues Anaheim
12.01.05 - San Diego, CA - House of Blues San Diego
12.04.05 - Calgary, AB - Broken City*
12.05.05 - Edmonton, AB - The Starlite Room#
12.06.05 - Saskatoon, SK - Amigos*
12.07.05 - Winnipeg, MB - Pyramid Cabaret*
12.10.05 - Waterloo, ON - Starlight Lounge*
12.11.05 - Hamilton, ON - The Casbah*
* Caribou ONLY
# w/ Faunts
$ w/ Student Film
source: tinymixtapes
No comments:
Post a Comment